apology to anthony...now we're even?

wrote this a while ago, but posting it today, 9/26

i helped my darling friend anna move out of her mother's house today, the house that she's lived in for all the 7, almost 8 years that i've known her. it took about 4 hours, mostly spent driving, to haul anna's bed, a chest of drawers, her drafting table, and some cleaning supplies over to her new place. i met her new roommate, an graduate student in astrophysics (i know!) and her boyfriend, andrew (finally!) helping anna completely reminded me of xavier move-in day, two whole years ago. it seems like fate that anthony just posted about this very subject.

to be honest, i had a completely different experience. move-in was so exciting and liberating! i was sad to leave home, but i couldn't wait to start fresh, live the college life, and be on my own. after so much pressure from both family and friends to stay in california, actually getting to seattle with all my crap was like the feeling in your lungs as your face bursts into fresh air after holding your breath under water...adrenaline pumping, relief, exhilaration! as for friends, i think it helped so much that i already knew someone who was going through the same experiences, a familiar face there along for the ride. i've forgotten along the way what a valuable person he was to me then...things were much less lonely, and we were always together.

the most depressing part of it all was when my parents actually left, and as we said goodbye in front of the dorm, both of them cried. i've never seen my parents cry...and it was horrible. they also said i love you, and they didn't really need to; but they said it, out loud, it was tangible at last. (all through high school, i laughed it off whenever i listened to friends say those three words so casually to their parents on a cell phone or on the way out of a car because it was so unfamiliar. my parents never said i love you). right then, i wanted to go back home with them. just the other day, my mom was joking about how she basically just ate all the free food at that whole orientation, and didn't pay any attention to the workshops they had about "letting go" and how to handle the "separation". i had no idea that those workshops even existed! but whatever they managed to take away from those talks, i'm so grateful that i was "let go" of. everything i had worked so hard for had finally come together. i was finally in a college, a legit university, where i felt at home. of course, my dad told me later about how if i hadn't kept my grades up that fall quarter, they would have made me come home. but my parents had trusted me enough to let me leave california, move a thousand miles away, and make my own choices. and that gave me the confidence to plow through the depressing parts, the awkward and anxious parts, and to make the most out of my new environment.

and of course, where would i be without everyone i met along the way? they say that the friends you make in college become your second family, and nothing could be more true with the friends i made in xavier. not to be sappy...but no matter how much time has passed, no matter how long we haven't talked, i'll never forget you, and my thoughts and best wishes go with you always. i love you guys...really. ^___^