whoa. so...here's my film debut. as a healer. HAHA!
the weird part is...i'm a bigger star than jesse david. :O
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
i should tell you i'm disaster
hey. happy first of november/all saints day/dia de los muertos!
this is kind of a test post...it seems like blogger hasn't been showing that i'm posting? well...i'm still here, haha.
last weekend, i went to a support group for my addiction studies class (this quarter i'm taking intro to drug and alcohol addiction - it's kind of fun to walk into class and start talking about heroin and crack).
i walked up madison to an open, gay narcotics anonymous meeting and i wasn't expecting much. i was listening to rent, mentally singing along to "i should tell you". i followed a man through the door, mentally singing along: “i should tell you i'm disaster”. we walked up the stairs to the third floor, and into a meeting of nothing I expected. there were a handful of men chatting, milling around, grabbing coffee, some sitting and lost in their thoughts. i meekly approached a man sitting behind a table, verified that the meeting was open, and that i was in the right place. i was fleetingly relieved of my anxiety, as i had tried another meeting earlier in the week to no success. that is, until my dreaded inevitable awkwardness that i was actually now in a room full of strangers that i knew to be addicts reared its ugly head. i shook it off nonetheless – these men kindly acknowledged me, but did not ask anything of me or why i was there. i felt neither accepted nor rejected, so i settled in and prepared to be the silent observer, a sort of elephant in the room.
the topic of the NA meeting was "principles before personalities". in NA there are 12 steps just like in AA, and there are also 12 traditions. the twelfth tradition states that "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities". the meeting focused on judgment of other people, how universal it is, and yet, how it causes damage to both ourselves and to others. the things that were said there in that room were supposed to help people in their personal recoveries. but the things that were said there just struck me and left me with a lot to think about.
i judge people all the time. it's a reflex...when caught in unfamiliar territory, or even all too familiar territory, the first thing i do is assess. i think it's gotten out of control, and i think that too many times, i can't see the persons for the people. because what they look like got in the way, or their clothes...or the things they do...or the things they say. i don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but just putting what i've been thinking about out there.
so, the main reason for this post was to explain that i needed to change the name of my tumblr, and this is what i came up with...because it needed to be different from what's in here. i should tell you i'm disaster. it's a reminder to myself of the story i told, and hopefully some of the stuff there speaks to you. at least...i hope you find a bit of a story there.
this is kind of a test post...it seems like blogger hasn't been showing that i'm posting? well...i'm still here, haha.
last weekend, i went to a support group for my addiction studies class (this quarter i'm taking intro to drug and alcohol addiction - it's kind of fun to walk into class and start talking about heroin and crack).
i walked up madison to an open, gay narcotics anonymous meeting and i wasn't expecting much. i was listening to rent, mentally singing along to "i should tell you". i followed a man through the door, mentally singing along: “i should tell you i'm disaster”. we walked up the stairs to the third floor, and into a meeting of nothing I expected. there were a handful of men chatting, milling around, grabbing coffee, some sitting and lost in their thoughts. i meekly approached a man sitting behind a table, verified that the meeting was open, and that i was in the right place. i was fleetingly relieved of my anxiety, as i had tried another meeting earlier in the week to no success. that is, until my dreaded inevitable awkwardness that i was actually now in a room full of strangers that i knew to be addicts reared its ugly head. i shook it off nonetheless – these men kindly acknowledged me, but did not ask anything of me or why i was there. i felt neither accepted nor rejected, so i settled in and prepared to be the silent observer, a sort of elephant in the room.
the topic of the NA meeting was "principles before personalities". in NA there are 12 steps just like in AA, and there are also 12 traditions. the twelfth tradition states that "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities". the meeting focused on judgment of other people, how universal it is, and yet, how it causes damage to both ourselves and to others. the things that were said there in that room were supposed to help people in their personal recoveries. but the things that were said there just struck me and left me with a lot to think about.
i judge people all the time. it's a reflex...when caught in unfamiliar territory, or even all too familiar territory, the first thing i do is assess. i think it's gotten out of control, and i think that too many times, i can't see the persons for the people. because what they look like got in the way, or their clothes...or the things they do...or the things they say. i don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but just putting what i've been thinking about out there.
so, the main reason for this post was to explain that i needed to change the name of my tumblr, and this is what i came up with...because it needed to be different from what's in here. i should tell you i'm disaster. it's a reminder to myself of the story i told, and hopefully some of the stuff there speaks to you. at least...i hope you find a bit of a story there.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
forever is not so long
i watched this and didn't realize that i was holding my breath. until the very end.
Forever's Not So Long from garrettmurray on Vimeo.
it's time to reevaluate.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
this was kinda fun....
50 posts, woo!!!
i'm counting these results as research for my paper. :P
and most of it is so....true.
Get to know yourself better.
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
i'm counting these results as research for my paper. :P
and most of it is so....true.
Get to know yourself better.
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
noooo!!!! aimi...!!!
we're updating, we're updating! (right???)
so...i've kind of been hiding it...(not on purpose!!! sorry! i just wanted to test drive it for a while!)...but i have a tumblr! check it out, lemme know what you think! it's 4649, same as this blog.
things:
-i want to put dimensional man up! but rachel doesn't want him by the door... :( dunno where to put him!
-i have to write a paper, and answer questions that i don't want to answer at all. you know, like...what is your mission in life? what do you envision? where is your career going? how are you gonna get there? its due on tuesday. ugh.
-paranormal activity was SO SCARY!! haven't had any nightmares yet though!
-halloween is coming up...i think i'm resurrecting the sailor jupiter costume, but with a better wig. ^^
-i think this quarter is gonna be a bad slacker quarter, until i get 75% through it and realize...shit. i'm totally fucked. hahaha.
-right now: sitting in bed, listening to lydia, should start that paper/should be reading for class.
that's it for now...all that's left to say is....we all love you aimi!!!
so...i've kind of been hiding it...(not on purpose!!! sorry! i just wanted to test drive it for a while!)...but i have a tumblr! check it out, lemme know what you think! it's 4649, same as this blog.
things:
-i want to put dimensional man up! but rachel doesn't want him by the door... :( dunno where to put him!
-i have to write a paper, and answer questions that i don't want to answer at all. you know, like...what is your mission in life? what do you envision? where is your career going? how are you gonna get there? its due on tuesday. ugh.
-paranormal activity was SO SCARY!! haven't had any nightmares yet though!
-halloween is coming up...i think i'm resurrecting the sailor jupiter costume, but with a better wig. ^^
-i think this quarter is gonna be a bad slacker quarter, until i get 75% through it and realize...shit. i'm totally fucked. hahaha.
-right now: sitting in bed, listening to lydia, should start that paper/should be reading for class.
that's it for now...all that's left to say is....we all love you aimi!!!
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